Today I was on the subway with a Loving Roomie and I was people watching...of course. I saw this girl who had relaxed her hair. I have a question...
Why do we perm our hair?
I know that there are a lot of shitty, sell out answers but I think that only ONE is true.
We don't know.
at all.
Ask any black woman, and this will be your answer....
"Well........its because (insert stutter hear)...our natural hair...um...kinky...kitchen....cannot compute...overload(explode.)
No one knows.
The most common answer you'll get is, "I can't deal with my nappy hair" Yes you can, you just don't want to. I'll understand if you just told the truth, "I dont think its the norm, and I won't be excepted." Who wants to be normal anymore? How boring. If you dont "deal" with it, respect and appreciate it, then who will?
NO ONE.
I dont know about you, but I love "dealing with my hair"
"Deal" with you childs hair. Dont put chemicals in your 5 year old childs head. Thats too young to be putting harmful detergents in their heads. Let them have a choice. EVERY Black woman I have talked to has said, and I quote, "When i was younger, my hair used to come down to here (puts hand conveniantly under boob-area) Then my mama put a perm in it and it all feel out. That outta tell you somthing. Lucky me I didnt get a perm till I was 12, doesnt make it ANY better.
Dont you know as soon as you hair is damaged by a perm you HAVE to keep putting on in. We all know that transition moment, when you hair is in rehab, and its is WITHDRAWING like a mother? That because is it addicted to the monthly, yearly or daily fix. Yum, drugs.
Sure, I wish that I had straight tresses so that I can wear a cute cropped haircut, but a relaxer won't do it for me. It won't look the same without loads of flat irons and pressing combs and a world of disappointment because my hair won't move, it looks like artificially shiny hair that feels like hay.
Heres another thing, You don't see a "normal" white girl going through so much crap, so why should I?
Its time for us to stop trying to be somthing we aren't, putting down somthing that is US. We need to understand that we are not white, and no chemical is going to change that. You see what it did to Micheal.
So on to the funny I made.
I looked at this girls head and I thought, "Why limit yourself to ONE style, when our natural hair is satisfyingly versitile and healthy. And then when you want somthing different, braid you chemically fried hair while its wet and end up with a greasy braid out....you happy with that?
I'm not trying to be militant or anything, I just want an explanation. I love straight hair as much as the next girl, but not at the expense of my health and confidence.But hey, if all that is appealing to you keep on relaxing, as long as you try your best to take care of it, and just try and love it a little more. Its more then just hair, its who you are. Also, dont put down the women who have excepted reality, and the OTHER idea of beauty.
Wish me sane, Wish me Somthing
Ari V
3 comments:
I completely understand where you're coming from, love. And you have no idea how much I respect and love you for going natural. I totally love it on you, and it's awesome.
Sure, the initial question of "why did you get a relaxer?" is usually avoided. I asked myself why I did it, too. I'll admit, I wasn't familiar with the versatility of natural hair when I was younger, and I just wanted mom to stop catching my kinks. I wanted to have flowing beautiful hair like my friend Latasha in grade school whose hair was down her back, and always beautiful. She got relaxers, too.
But I also see my hair as a way of expressing myself and my personality. I asked for the relaxer my first time. I really do love having it straight. And I love that I can still make it wavy and curly like I want it to be. My idea of beautiful hair for myself is not like anyone else's.
But I'm not dumb. I don't put a relaxer in it every month. It's more like every 3 or 4 months. I like the versatility as it grows out, too. So I try different things with mousse, or leave-in conditioner, pomade, braiding overnight...
My hair doesn't dry out because I know how to take care of it. I keep it moisturized on a constant basis, and I wash and condition it, too. In all honesty, since I've left home, my hair is actually healthier than when mom would put in a relaxer and just let me go.
Maybe you don't see my answer as valid, but it's honest. I know how it started, but I'm also old enough and mature enough to know that expressing yourself is beautiful, and if it comes at a price, perhaps you should rethink it.
I'm a woman of body mods...I tattoo myself, I'm piercing myself, I paint my nails, I wear makeup, I color my hair, I straighten my hair, I curl my hair. My body is my canvas, and I know how to take care of it.
~Pusher. Of. Pens.~
Yeah your one of the ones that i respect, you do it because you want to, not because you have to. You dont put down other people. Your answer is completely valid! YOu respect natural hair, and i respect relaxed because of course, just a little over three months ago I had relaxed hair. I m just tired of it being the ONLY excepted beauty.
I love your hair, and i cant even tell you how much.
I miss you
I agree. When did the standard of beauty become so limited? It's really sad that people are supposed to fit this mold that was created...by who? And at what cost?
I think that to be bold in your decisions and ideas, and to always keep an open mind about differences is true beauty.
~amen~
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