Shadows

Yea, its been awile but what ever. im sitting here listening to my to favorite album, My Brothers Blood Machine, and thinking about a lot of things. There are so many thoughts in my head that I cant even put them into words, but im gonna put their shadows down to give my brain some room to function. I know myself, and i have a tendancy to crowd my mind with ever so fast moving thoughts that i cant move, I become paralyzed and irrational. If only Pensives were real, if only Hogwarts were real. And I Digress. Anyway, While I'm overcrowding my brain i start to obesses about things that shouldnt, but I've been getting better at it. Music has become my crutch, im starting to need it more the air. Is it my goals and dreams that cause this? My constant want to be an AWESOME frontwoman in a band, or the fact that music pumps the beat into the models that stompthe runway. Or maybe its my constant need to temporarily escape my world in the other world of riffs, melodies and creativity. whatever it is i need it more then ever. is that so bad? i don't think so, but it makes me think. I think its funny when we know whats the right thing to do and we preach it to everyone else, then expect them to do what you suggest. however in our own situations we do what we want, then we go to others for advice and when they give their thoughts our thoughts are "They dont understand, they dont know us." even though thet are perfectly right. Yup, I think its perfectly hilarious. I've realized that when you some back to your hometown, the skeletons in your closet began to gain muscles, organs, skin, teeth and minds. They have minds to bring up old things, feelings, pains, all that jazz. but you deal with them because you know as soon as you leave they will die again, waiting for their next resurection. unless they get a car, then they might follow you.

Wow, I'm emo.
Wish me sane, wish me somthing
Ari*